let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
