thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
