ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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