I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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