He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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