She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
