their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
