Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
dude. I can hear the air.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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