No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
