I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
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a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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