We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
