I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
