where am i from again
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
