So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
