he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
