I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
