Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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