Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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