Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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