I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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