im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
