oh god the rape fog is back!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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