The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
