We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I need moral support for this bender
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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