it's great music for shaving your balls
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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