HIV tests are more positive than that guy
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I need moral support for this bender
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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