So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
