I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
