guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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