you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
