I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
