How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize