I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
