Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
