the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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