It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
