I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There r osticjed everywhere
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize