So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
