I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
