found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
