guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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