the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
