Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
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She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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