Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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