it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
