I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Someone shattered a urinal.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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