So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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