I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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