I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
