Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
