i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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