I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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