I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
