I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
