She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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