if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
