Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He better not be in your backpack
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
