Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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