"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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