I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
