Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
