my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize