Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
