Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
