Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
