I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
