New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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