i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
