I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
